《Modern Romance》读后感锦集

《Modern Romance》是一本由Aziz Ansari / Eric Klinenberg著作，Penguin Press出版的Hardcover图书，本书定价：USD 28.95，页数：288，特精心收集的读后感，希望对大家能有帮助。

《Modern Romance》读后感(一)：go out and date a real person!

这本书我几乎是从头到尾笑着听完的，上下班的路上听着Aziz绘声绘色地念着这本书，简直像是在听脱口秀，特别放松。

Aziz Ansari是一个有名的美剧演员和喜剧演员。有一次他给一个女生发短信，在等待女生回短信的过程中，他的心情如坐过山车一样起起伏伏，特别焦虑。这成了他写这本书的动机，他想探讨一下随着科技的发展，在现代社会中，种种新的沟通方式对人们的爱情交友婚姻造成了什么样的影响。一个很有意思的话题，而且没想到Aziz非常认真地找了一个社会学家搭档了起来，做问卷调查，访谈交流，甚至走访了五个国家亲身经历，这本书倒真的讲出了一些很有意思有些启发性的观点。

书中花了很大篇幅讲现代人dating过程中的发短信，形形色色的tips总结起来可以出一本恋爱短信指南了，比如最好的回短信的间隔是15分钟，刻意地不回对方短信并不会让自己占上风；比如发有针对性的短信可以让女生觉得更受重视，不要发笼统的what’s up；Aziz说现在人们都有两个形象，一个是真实，一个是网络世界，在发短信之前可以想象自己真实世界的自己真的会这么说话吗，避免发出去太傻的短信。

我对书里介绍的online dating的段落觉得特别有意思。没想到现在美国有三分之一以上的夫妻是通过online dating认识的，只不过人们现实生活中往往羞于承认这点。match.com完全影响了现代人找对象的方式，而新兴的tinder更是把online dating和好玩有趣的形式结合在了一起，更迎合了现在年轻人的喜好。相比于五十年前的夫妻，有非常多的比例都来自于同一个社区，现代人可以认识来自世界各地的各种各样的人。这种无限的可能性一方面增加了人们找到最理想另一半的可能性，另一方面也反过来让人们迷失 - 当每天走在街上每次打开手机刷着社交网络，都能看到好多迷人的优秀的异性时，大家着迷于寻找的过程，总相信前面还有一个更好地人等待着自己，而不愿意在眼前的这个人身上投入过多的时间和感情。

在书中，我读到了很多我觉得很正的恋爱观，比如“当坠入爱情的时候，并不是因为ta长得什么样子或者喜欢哪个电视剧或者爱吃哪道菜，而是当我和ta一起看电视剧一起吃一道菜的时候，是世界上最快乐的事情“，比如”不管虚拟世界里看起来有多少精彩纷呈的选项，我们都不要忘记屏幕后面的真实的人。与其花好多小时浏览网络寻找下一个选项，不如和真实的人在线下度过一些quality time好好地了解对方“。

总之，真实有趣是我对这本书的评价，Aziz用这种幽默的方式让人们反思现代社会的婚恋是个很不错的尝试。好啦，大家道理都懂了，go out and date a real person!

《Modern Romance》读后感(二)：缺少新意，更缺少深度

会知道这本书，是因为Goodreads的推荐。这本书在其2015年非虚构类作品的投票中，得票最多。因此，我是带着满心地期待来看这本书的。前言加深了这种期待，在前言里，作者写了他写这本书的动机，一个女孩不回他信息给他带来的焦虑。这让我觉得，这会是一本探讨这个时代，信息技术变革带来的新的交流方式对于爱情的影响。结果，发现我想多了

最终，我没有读完这本书。一般来说，读一本书，哪怕仅仅是为了“读完”，我也会读完。我努力过，我读完了第三章，有点读不下去，不愿放弃，就跳到结尾读那个长长的总结，然后又读不下去了，然后逼着自己读了最后一章，实在不想读了。

读不下去的原因，是觉得这本书了无新意，书里提到的种种观点好像在不同渠道都接触过。如果作者能就这些观点深入下去，会挺吸引人的，可也只是蜻蜓点水般的提到了某种观点，然后就转向了下一个话题。

平时“碎片式阅读”已经够多，不需要读书时也是如此。

（会有这么些吐槽，大概是书里所涉及的问题，我没有认真思考过，共鸣就少很多。如果对这书感兴趣，可以先看看总结，那里涵盖了本书的基本观点。毕竟不是侦探小说，先看看结论也无妨。）

摘录一些书里读到的观点：

1.People will go as far as they have to find a mate, but no father.

（几十年前的人大多如此。）

One reason it’s hard to imagine marrying the people we grew up with is that these days we marry much later than people in previous generations.

You have other priorities as well: getting educated, trying out different jobs, having a few relationships, and, with luck, becoming a more fully developed person.

2.At first, swimming through that ocean may seem amazing. But most modern singles quickly realize that it takes a ton of effort to stay afloat, and even more to find the right person and get to shore together.

（的确，我们有了更多的选择，无论是好是坏，我们都回不去了。）

3.The fact that your interactions on your phone can have such a profound effect on people’s impression of you as a person makes it clear that you basically have two selves now--your real-world self and your phone self.

（多少人，只认识手机屏幕里的那个你，在中国，是朋友圈里的你。）

4.When you think about people more, this increases their presence in your mind, which ultimately can lead to feeling of attraction.

(还没得到的，总是容易引起人更多的遐想,可为什么呢？）

Basically, we see something as more desirable when it is less available. When you are texting someone less frequently, you are, in effect, creating a scarcity of you and making yourself more attractive.

5.Why do we all say we preder honesty but rarely give that courtesy to others？

6.Why get married at all？

7.Marriage has become a status symbol--a highly regarded marker of a successful personal life.

（结婚的成本越来越高，自然是如此。）

8.People have strong strivings to build something, to do something, to leave something behind. And of course having children is one way of doing that.

（孩子）

9.People are stuck on what’s normal, what’s reight, what’s wrong. May be what’s right to you is wrong to me.

10.Finding someone today is probably more complicated and stressful that it was for previous generations--but you’re also likely to end up with someone you are really excited about.

（为了这多出来的，可能永远不会实现的可能性而承受这一切，值得吗？值不值得，已经是如此了。）

11.History shows that we’ve continually adapted to these changes. No matter the obstacle, we keep finding love and romance.

（唯一不变的，是变化，或许，还有对爱的追寻。）

《Modern Romance》读后感(三)：书籍概要 - 趣味横生，也许就是我们现代的追爱之路

INTRODUCTION CHAPTER 1 SEARCHING FOR YOUR SOUL MATE

CHAPTER 2 THE INITIAL ASK CHAPTER 3 ONLINE DATING CHAPTER 4 CHOICE AND OPTIONS CHAPTER 5 INTERNATIONAL INVESTIGATIONS OF LOVE CHAPTER 6 OLD ISSUES, NEW FORMS: SEXTING, CHEATING, SNOOPING, AND BREAKING UP CHAPTER 7 SETTLING DOWN CONCLUSION

FEAR OF SETTLING DOWN, FEAR OF SETTLING PASSIONATE LOVE AND COMPANIONATE LOVE DO YOU NEED TO GET MARRIED？

MONOGAMY, MONOGAMISH

作者写书背景： teaming up with an eminent sociologist, interviewing hundreds of people, consulting the world’s foremost experts on romance and relationships, conducting fieldwork in five countries, and reading a mountain of studies and books and news articles and academic papers, what exactly have I learned？

老式爱情： marrying some girl(with no time to develop or pursue her own interests.) who lived in my neighborhood in my hometown and pretty young. in previous generations who met someone in the neighborhood and grew to have a deep, loving soul mate–level bond. But there are many others who didn’t

nowadays, once you start dating someone, your physical lives aren’t the only things that get entangled; your phone worlds also merge

Treat potential partners like actual people, not bubbles on a screen. Try to say something thoughtful or funny and invite this person to do a nice, interesting thing.

it’s easy to get negative about technology and its impact.其实看个人，要注重见面和谈话内容 Don’t think of online dating as dating—think of it as an online introduction service.

With so many romantic options, instead of trying to explore them all, make sure you properly invest in people and give them a fair chance before moving on to the next one. “Probably because I was busy chasing other options. I didn’t text her and left her to die in my phone.” better off spending quality time getting to know actual people than spending hours with our device

作者最后的陈诉：科技并没有让交友（如soul mate）更难，每个时代有各种的变化，我们需要适应。 Culture and technology have always shaken romance. When the plow came in and made women’s labor value in the family unit drop, it was disruptive. When the car provided a means for people to travel and see people who lived farther away, that was disruptive too. Same with telegraphs, telephones, televisions, and whatever future inventions may come

one day you’ll meet someone amazing, text them a thoughtful message, take them to a monster truck rally, and then hopefully at some point, after a bowl of delicious ramen, make love to them in a Jurassic Park–themed love hotel in Tokyo.

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PS： sexting 色情短信，撩骚 snooping 偷窥 monogamous 单配偶制 conundrums 难题 bozo 笨蛋 OPTIMAL PROFILE PHOTOS 最优解！！